|
The day ended with my
face pressed against the cold black bars encompassing our
front porch, my legs numb beneath me, as my eyes strained to
see the last of the long black car that I knew would take my
brothers into our father’s world, far away from mine. Other
than my mother’s beckoning arms, the front porch cradled me
once again.
Emptiness engulfed my
young body with the same thought repeating itself in my mind:
“Why? What did I do?” As I searched for answers, more
questions seemed to flood my drifting thoughts: ”Why wouldn’t
he take me? Why wouldn’t he look at me? He was my father,
wasn’t I his daughter?”
It was not until I
reached the age of ten that my father’s eyes turned to me, and
it was not until that moment that I believed I was worthy of
love. If he couldn’t love me, who could? It’s sad - how a
child’s mind manipulates itself when one parent does not
acknowledge her existence.
As a woman, I recall
my fleeting childhood memories as if it were just yesterday.
I recall also, how my mother would make beautiful excuses for
my father’s absence in my life. The truth, however, always
found me on the front porch – left behind.
In her
work Marlena shares with us the bewilderment of a small child
left behind by her beloved father, the pain of a woman who
must face the death of her true love and the rejection of a
partner who would not return her affection.
We
share with her the gratitude and love she has for her mother,
her devotion to her children and the appreciation she feels
for family and friends.
Be
prepared to be moved, enthralled and completely enraptured by
Left Behind.
Debra
Shiveley Welch – Author: A Very
Special Child
As I read
Marlena’s wonderful book of poetry and prose, an
old saying I had heard as a child came to mind:
To love is nothing, to be loved is something, to
love and be loved is everything.
A young girl
abandoned by her father battles the demons of
hurt and rejection, while trying to live in a
male dominated world. Desperate for the love of
an absentee father, Marlena tries to find her
rightful place among the men in her life, only
to find they abandon her through, death, murder,
and betrayal. She first believes that by loving
a man, she will be happy. Sadly, she finds that
loving a man is not enough when this love is not
returned. She yearns for the day that she will
be truly loved by a man. Her poetic heart
bemoans for two hearts beating as one. She
searches for the wholesome enchanted love of her
dreams, but for a short time she comes close to
its realization. Unfortunately it slips through
her fingertips once more.
Marlena descends
to the bottomless pit of her own personal hell
and rises again like the phoenix, when she
discovers that love had always been there for
her. The women folk in her life; her mom, her
cousin Debra, and her friend Lisa, each helped
restore her delicate soul. She in turns gives
this precious love freely to her very own
children.
She discovers
the love and nurturing of womanhood is a
soothing balm. For this unconditional love
given freely from the heart, is nourishing to
the soul and once found, will heal all wounds.
There is more
hunger for love and appreciation in this world
than for bread – Mother Theresa.
Marlena
masterfully brings us into her world, her hell,
her journey spiritual restoration, and her new
found sense of womanhood. The author joins her
soul with ours, an experience that only a woman
can truly understand.
|
